A Pocketful of Sunshine

Sunday, July 30, 2006

I NEED XIAN AND HER CAMERA ((:

COS' I WENT TO DAD'S CLUB YESTERDAY. SO MANY GREAT SHOTS BUT NO FILM TO CAPTURE THEM ON. WHAT A WASTE :(

I NEED TO GO SALING SOON.
I HAVEN'T BEEN AT THE HELM FOR AGES.
I MISS THE SEA, THE SMELL OF SALTY SEA BREEZE, THE SUN AND EVERYTHING ELSE. THINKING OF SAILING, I REMEMBERED I HAVEN'T FULFILLED MY PROMISE TO MEL AND MICH. THEY MUST BE SO DISAPPOINTED. BUT THEN AGAIN, SO MANY THINGS TO DO, BUT SO LIL' TIME. SOMETIMES, I WISH THERE ARE MORE THAN 24 HRS A DAY.

AND ALSO, I WISH THERE'RE MORE CASH TO GO AROUND. NO ONE WILL COMPLAIN ABOUT HAVING NOT ENOUGH MONEY. THEY'D WELCOME THE THOUGHT OF HAVING MORE CASH. HAHA (: MORE CASH MEANS MORE OPTIONS IN LIFE. MOM AND DAD DON'T HAVE TO SLOG SO HARD. DAD CAN CHANGE HIS 18 YEARS-OLD TOYOTA STARLET WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT THE FUTURE (BUT STILL, I LOVE OUR LIL' RED CAR WHICH IS AS OLD AS I AM). MUM WON'T HAVE TO WORK PART-TIME TO AFFORD OTHER LUXURIES. DAD CAN REVAMP THE HOUSE. DAD CAN RETIRE EARLY, GET HIS YATCH AND FULFILL HIS DREAM OF SAILING AROUND THE WORLD WITH MUM. MUM AND DAD CAN PAMPER THEMSELVES WITHOUT SECOND THOUGHTS. I WANT MUM AND DAD TO BE ABLE TO DO WHAT THEY WANT WITHOUT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT US AND THEIR OBLIGATIONS OR RESPONSIBILITIES, IT'S JUST LIKE HOW THEY WANT US TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE THAN THEM. THEY SCRIMP AND SAVE ON THEMSELVES JUST TO PROVIDE US WITH EDUCATION AND THE TOOLS WE NEED TO SURVIVE IN LIFE. THEY PROVIDE US WITH THE BEST. THEY MIGHT NOT BE FLAWLESS, BUT I KNOW THAT THEY'RE ALSO TRYING TO BE THE BEST PARENTS THEY CAN. IT'S NOT EASY TO RAISE A KID. PARENTING IS LIKE THE TOUGHEST JOB ON EARTH. IT'S TIRING - THEY HAVE TO RUN AFTER US WHEN WE FIRST LEARN TO WALK COS' THEY ARE WORRIED WE MIGHT FALL. THEY LOST SLEEP ON COUNTLESS MORNING JUST TO ANSWER TO OUR CRIES. THEY HAVE TO FRET OVER THE UNCERTAINTIES OF THE FATHOMLESS FUTURE AND WORK TO PUT BREAD ON THE TABLE. WHERE DO YOU THINK THE MONEY COME FROM? FROM THE TREES? WE MIGHT NOT GROW UP TO BE THE VERY PERSON THEY WOULD HAVE LIKE, BUT STILL THEY CONTINUE LOVING US. THEY COULD HAVE GONE TO PURSUE THEIR DREAMS, BUT DIDN'T AS WE ARE TOP ON THEIR PRIORITY LIST. PARENTING IS THE LOUSIEST JOB ON EARTH - THEY DON'T GET PAID TO DO WHAT THEY DO AND HAVE TO SUFFER ALONGSIDE US; THROUGH THE PROCESS FROM BEING WAILING BABIES TO ANGSTY ADOLESCENCE. BUT STILL, THEY DO EVERYTHING WITH LOVE. I THINK THEY EARNED A RIGHT TO NAG AND GUMBLE. AND WHEN THEY SAY, " IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!", TRUST ME, IT'S TRUE MOST OF THE TIME. THEY HAVE GONE THROUGH LIFE SEVERAL TIMES OVER, SEEN MORE PEOPLE, SEEN MORE SUNRISES AND SUNSETS THAN WE EVER HAVE. I DON'T THINK I CAN EVER BE AS SELFLESS AS THEM.

WE MIGHT NOT BE FLITHY RICH, BUT WE LIVE A COMFORTABLE LIFE. I HAVE A ROOF OVER MY HEAD, I HAVE TRANSPORT FROM POINT A-Z, I HAVE BOTH MY PARENTS, MY DAD STILL HAS HIS JOB, MY SISTER AND I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT OUR EDUCATION AND OF COURSE, THERE ARE THOSE FAMILY GATHERINGS WHICH WE ENJOY. I AM CONTENTED WITH WHAT I ALREADY HAVE. SO IF I WANT MORE, I JUST HAVE TO EARN IT MYSELF. NOW, I SEEMS TO PLAN MY VACATION MORE CAREFULLY THAN I DO MY LIFE. HAHA (: MAYBE BECAUSE, ESCAPE IS EASIER THAN CHANGE...

xoxo,
S
8:06 AM

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

somehow, i feel as if i wanted something more than this ordinary life. but to get to where you want, you got to PERSEVERE - It's the hard work you do even after you're tired of all the hard work that you have already done. If you want it so badly, you have to fight for it. You need to have the drive, and when people look into your eyes, they can see the passion and desire burning. Seriously, you can have anything you want in life, it just depends on how badly you want it; how far are you willing to go for it? If you can be the first, why settle for a mere second? So, strive to be the first in whatever you do, if not, you might as well quit. haha (: Big words coming from an ordinary girl. Big words insipred by Takuya Kimura (as Halu Satonaka) from PRIDE. So, if you guys have the time, go watch it and get inspired (:

MAYBE (:

xoxo,
S
8:33 AM

Monday, July 24, 2006

Believe

I thought LIFE was supposed to be simple. But then again, when was LIFE ever simple? I always say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!". And I do believe in it. However, when the goings get tough and faith wavers, it takes tremendous courage to carry out the course of those very words. So, I prayed, I prayed for courage. Still, it ain't enough. I needed more strength than i asked for. I needed more strength than i thought. These days, LIFE haven't been easy on me. Things goes from bad to worse one after another. It becomes so frustrating, I wonder if this awful streak of bad luck is going to end anytime soon. It'd better. Ha. I told myself I have been through worse, I told myself that there're more unfortunate people out there. I was comforting myself like how all my friends comforted me. I wanted so much to find solace in the very meaning of these words. But there is only so much I could take, i had my limits. Maybe God just wanted to see how long i could hold out. The Days were okay, but The Nights are tough. When Night falls, no one is around, I feel alone. There are no lively chatters of my friends to reassure me. I don't wanna call or disturb them because I know they cannot always be there for me and I cannot always run to them for help. They can only do that much. So, I seek solace in sleep and in the quiet peace of the night. ALONE = VULNERABLE = THINK ALOT = START TO WORRY = START TO BE AFRAID = CAN'T BREATHE = SUFFOCATE TO DEATH. LIFE IS A VICIOUS CYCLE. I fail to comprehend it, but then again if i do, it wouldn't be called LIFE right? Haha. I have yet to find positivity in negativity, but the cruel truth is, no matter how heart-wrenching anything is, I have to move on. Because if I don't keep on walking, the world will just leave me behind in a trail of dust. That is how ruthless reality is. And so I pray, GOD, I am struggling, please just bless me with what you think i need to carry on... Because now, I can think of so many reasons to quit, but what is the very one reason that will keep me strong?

xoxo,
S
5:14 AM

Saturday, July 15, 2006

OK THANKS PEEP!!! SURVEY CLOSED (:

xoxo,
S
2:19 AM

Sunday, July 09, 2006

I am doing some stupid report. haha. ever thought which one is better? MSN Messenger or Yahoo! Messenger? time to think about it now. haha. do me a favour guys and just help me with my survey:

http://www.zoomerang.com/recipient/survey-intro.zgi?p=WEB225GDZ85CR8

thanks(:

so yea. kudos to my "interesting" life.

MSN or YAHOO!

xoxo,
S
11:32 AM